As of this writing, I am a non-smoker for a month-and-a-week-plus, after smoking a pack of cigarettes each and every day for almost 30 years. Ridding myself of cigarettes is a wonderful feeling, and I am certain I will be smoke-free for the rest of my life.
That certainty — knowing that I will succeed in my effort — is new to me. I cannot say how many times I have tried to quit before and failed; all I know is that there have been too many. In the past, my success rate varied before I failed (at one time, I quit for a year and a half before I picked up a pack), and I used all kinds of methods. I tried nicotine patches (they gave me rashes), nicotine gum (it gave me stomachaches), pharmaceuticals like Zyban (whoo-wee, that stuff made me all kinds of crazy), and in my most recent attempt prior to this one, acupuncture (which probably would have worked, if I had been more devoted to the practice).
Of course, none of these smoking cessation aids were the magic bullet I sought. I wanted something which would just make me not want to smoke. There was no such thing, so I chalked up my failures to a lack of willpower, and generally relegated myself to the idea that I would smoke until the day I died.
But not this time.
While I haven’t found a magical method to keep from wanting a cigarette, and my willpower quotient remains practically immeasurable, I’m still not smoking.
So what’s different this time?
A few things have contributed to my current success, including a cessation aid (an electronic cigarette; I view it in the same way as a patch or gum. I’m getting nicotine, just not nearly as much as before, and without the mess, smell, and carcinogens of “real” cigarettes), support from my family and friends, and a plan.
I have to say the most important factor in my current and ongoing success is mindfulness. Simply put, I started paying attention to what I was doing, and the difference it made is nothing short of amazing.
In my past attempts to quit smoking, I would set a date, then start sweating and questioning my decision. I would puff like a madman until the last minute before my quit date, assuming I even thought far enough ahead to set a quit date. I’m fairly certain my smoking increased during the period between when I decided to quit and my actual quit day. Then I would be a grumpy sonofagun for a week or so before I decided I could sneak off and grab a cigarette (“Just one,” I always told myself, but cigarettes are worse than potato chips in that regard), and before I knew it, I would be back to a pack a day.
This time, however, I figured out that most of my smoking was thoughtless. I never thought about smoking; I just lit up when the mood struck. As well as when the mood didn’t strike. And after a meal. And when I got into the car. And so forth and so on. I had a mindless habit.
I have to credit becomeanex.org for helping me with the mindlessness of my smoking. One of the first things the site suggests for those who want to quit (after setting a quit date and telling your friends and family, both of which I did) is to track your cigarettes during the day, as well as to identify the triggers which lead you to smoke.
The simple act of noticing when I smoked and what made me want to smoke made an impact; almost immediately, I began smoking fewer cigarettes each day, not because I made an effort to cut back, but simply because I started paying attention to when and why I smoked. By the time my quit day rolled around, I cut my daily number of smokes by about a third.
Now, I’m a month into the process. It remains a struggle, but less of one with each passing day. I feel better, my clothes don’t stink, and I don’t have to go out into the cold twenty times a day to be a social pariah.
Thanks, mindful attention. I appreciate the help, and my lungs do, too.
2 thoughts on “Mindfully putting away the cigarettes”
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So true. The subconscious nature of nicotine addiction is so powerful. What’s great is when you realize a whole day has gone by and you haven’t had the crave, which is also a time to stay strong! Congrats and good luck!
Thanks, Bill. I still get cravings, but they are fewer and farther between, and I am able to recognize them for what they are.