Resolution, Schmesolution. Make a Plan Instead!

When I was about 10 years old, my brother-in-law, my sisters, and I were out in the back yard. We had been playing with my little sister in her red wagon. At some point, my brother-in-law jumped in the wagon and rode it down our steep back yard. He was able to steer easily by turning the handle inward and moving it left to go right and right to go left. My eyes widened as I watched him speed down the hill. It looked like so much fun! I really wanted to try it, but there was a big pine tree in the middle of the wide lawn. I was afraid I would hit that tree. The steering was confusing to me and I didn’t want to break my nose or glasses. He assured me it was a piece of cake.

I reluctantly climbed into the driver’s seat and barreled down the hill. I’m sure you can guess what happened. With my eyes fixed upon the dreaded tree, I steered that radio flyer straight toward it, hit it hard and tumbled over. Only my pride was truly hurt but the event made a lasting impression. I would later realize that because the tree had been my most consuming focus, I couldn’t do anything but drive right into it.

The following analogy for making change is a favorite of mine. It came from my yoga teacher, Kate Tremblay of Heartwood Yoga. First, she drew an image on her whiteboard that looked something like this:

Then she asked, “how can you make the top line shorter without altering that line in any way”?

We all thought about it and offered several ideas. I can’t quite recall, but I don’t think any of us figured it out.

Click on the image to see the answer, but if you think about the story above you might get where I’m headed. By extending the length of the lower line, you make the top line the smaller of the set. By expanding the line on the bottom, you dramatically decrease the impact of the one on top.

According to Forbes Magazine and research from The University of Scranton, only 8% of people are successful with resolutions. I believe it is because we are drawn to do what we focus on. It’s as simple as that. If the focus is put on something positive to add to life, rather than on the unwanted behavior to eliminate, success is much more likely. For instance, saying, “I will notice and talk about the good things in every person I speak to today”, is an activity to add to your life. Something you can look forward to and reap the rewards from immediately. The brain registers gain instead of loss. “I will not gossip”, is demanding and takes away something you have. Give yourself a new fun thing to start that overshadows the behavior you’d like to change rather than demanding you limit yourself of a guilty pleasure.

The holidays are a time when we spend a lot of thought and energy on giving. So why not give to yourself as well.

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